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Monday, 16 April 2012

It never lasts

I thought I'd write a quick post on having had a few good days then it ends. I'm guessing all of us with bpd experience this. The highs and lows that come so quickly, sometimes in a matter of hours.

I've had 3 really good days, I've faced work head on even though I'm struggling with it at the moment and my mood has just been good, no thoughts of self harm, no thoughts of suicide, just 3 " normal" days.
And yet today it has all come to an end. I have no idea why, nothing has changed I haven't even gone to work yet. My mood has just dropped, I feel empty and flat like there is no more to give. Horrible thoughts have returned, exit plans are ruminating in my head. Judging by today already it looks like this weeks going to be a tough one.

As hard as it is I need to accept this is just the way things are, and that just as my mood has dropped it can return to where it was just as quickly. This is what wise mind tells me. Emotional mind tells me living like this is a horrible nightmare not knowing where I'll be mentally 1 day to another.

So I'll end this post trying my hardest to stay in wise mind but I can't promise anything!

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