The end of the road to lithium

So today I had my appointment with my worker. I knew it was going to be a struggle when I began crying to myself whilst sat in the chmt waiting room.
She came to collect me and said I seemed full of it... She knows me too well. From then and for the duration of the appointment an hour and fifteen minutes i cried. Not wailing sobs just those ones that trickle out gently even when you think you've stopped a lonely tear falls down your cheek.
Things are just getting to much at the moment work especially. I'm feeling overwhelmed by everything. So when she said she needed to be honest with me I knew things were gonna get a whole lot worse.
10 days ago I had my blood tests done for going back on lithium. Having had 9 months stable on it before I had faith in it working again. But today she told me she couldn't take the risk working with me on lithium. She feels it is too dangerous for me. She said I could still push for lithium but I would have to have a new worker, one that felt comfortable with me being on it. That just isn't a possibility, I am starting to get attached to her there is no way I want a new worker. She did then follow that comment up with she will work with me if I'm put on a different mood stabiliser. So I left it at that as it'll be discussed with psychiatrist in 3 weeks.
We made a start on the self help book The Angry Heart, it warned in the introduction it will be an emotional journey and it seems that way already. I have to write in a journal as part of it, that I'm gonna face later on in the week.
So the whole appointment was pretty emotional. I then had to put in a 6 hour shift at work. I honestly don't know how I've done it.
And where does it leave me now? Not on the road to lithium where I wanted to be that's for sure. Dbt skill radical acceptance may be required for now until my medication review in 3 weeks. And I need to look into other mood stabilisers ....