It was back in 2008 that my mental health became a real problem. Prior to that since the death of my mum in 2000 there were a few problems but not enough to be involved with a mental health team.
January 2008 my fiancé of 3 years left one saturday morning to go shopping and never returned. He hadn't been one of these people who just go missing .. No ...he'd been very clever and had been planning to leave me for weeks. He had snook all of his best clothes and his gadgets and stuff gradually out the house. I had challenged him just days before asking where is your laptop " I left it at work" he replied, very unusual! Anyway the result was I was devastated and felt humiliated. I had added him to my mortgage,remortgaged and took out loans with him to buy new cars, motorbikes caravan etc he took them all except my car.
I spent the rest of 2008 spiralling out of control especially with a gambling addiction that started as I was struggling to pay all the bills on my single wage.
I was by the end of the year heading for a breakdown, I took a few overdoses late November and the crisis team became involved.
A saturday night early December after a horrible visit from crisis team i was feeling extremely suicidal. I smashed a photo frame and cut both wrists really deep and gradually felt myself drifting off as I lay in a pool of blood. The rest is a blur but I had text a friend prior saying i was going to do it apparently, she called an ambulance. The damage to my left wrist was serious I had cut through the carpel tunnel nerve, I was transferred to another hospital for plastic surgery. From there I was threatened with a section but i offered to go informally to a mental health ward 12 miles from home. I was taken by an ambulance and began the 1st night of 7 months on that ward. What happened during my stay there I may post about in the future but for now I have written enough and have told the story of how it all began x
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